Catching up is hard to do…

In a nutshell: I’ve had off the past two weeks. After Christmas, I cooked, cleaned, cooked, cleaned. New Years Eve happened, then the next day I went to Clarion for a quick visit. I also invited my mother to go with me on a 3-night cruise to nowhere in August on the newest Holland America ship that debuts in July. This caused much consternation in their and our household. I came back to work. For more detail on all this, read on.

The long bits: My break was nice. It seemed long at the time, but short looking back on it. I’m not sure how that happens. I tried out some new recipes, including a chipotle-lime crockpot chicken. My new favorite ingredient is now canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce. Holy cow are they good. I also did a small rack of lamb on new years day, which Matt said was better than the rack of lamb we had on our cruise, and that is a high compliment. It was very good, served with a rosemary/roasted garlic compound butter. Mmmmmm.

On January 2, I drove up to Clarion. Took me a little over 4 hours, not bad. Weather was great, but it had snowed and the campus was a sheet of ice. Wasn’t it always? Ah, the memories. They are building, and I mean big time building on campus: 2 new dorms, a new science center, and a new cafeteria. Yes, all at the same time. I knew about it all, but I didn’t realize they were doing it all at once.

I stopped in to visit with my old boss at University Relation, Tom. He told me that Ralston and Campbell dorms haven’t been used in 2 years. Both because they don’t have sprinkler systems, but Campbell also had asbestos, apparently. These are the things they don’t tell you in the Alumni Newsletter. The state has been pushing all the state universities to have their dorms retrofitted with sprinklers (this is going on around the country, too), but the universities are finding it cheaper just to build new dorms and tear the old ones down. Ralston is currently being used as office space, but Campbell is sitting empty.

I met Doc E at Michelle’s coffee house in town, we spent a couple hours talking. He’s doing well since he retired, he needs surgery on his shoulder due to an injury. He’s hoping to move to Vancouver towards the end of the year. And he’s really glad he retired. We talked politics, religion, and environment.

Backtracked to DuBois to visit with Tim. He treated me to dinner at Dead Lobster, then we went to his friend Trixie’s house. Nice people, fun kids. She was stressing due to a wireless network that didn’t want to be set up. We made it to his place late, the roads were fun and snow packed. The next day Tim treated me to breakfast and we went shopping. Bought some wine, bought some glasses, bought some dip mixes and a soap and some tea and some kitchies and some candles.

The trip home felt longer than the trip up, I stopped off in Huntington to give the car a break and eat something. I got to Greencastle at dusk, which was what I was hoping for.
Over Christmas, I discovered that Holland America’s newest ship, the Eurodam (*HATE the name) was going to do a 3-day Introduction cruise out of NYC over Labor Day weekend. It is the first cruise for this ship out of a North American port (It will be doing European cruises through July and August) and it should be quite a thing to behold: VIPs, media, critics, and all the stops will be pulled out for this short trip.

Mom has been wanting to do a cruise, but she’s concerned she won’t like it, or will have seasickness problems, etc, and I thought Hey! This looks like a perfect opportunity! Also, her birthday is in August and she’s retiring this year, so it all fits. So I suggested it to her. She was thrilled.

And then I told dad about it.

Have I mentioned how controlling he is? No?? Well let me mention how controlling he is. He is a control freak. He hasn’t had a paying job since the mid 80s. Mom has been working full time since then. The money that comes in, he controls. She’s ‘not allowed’ to spend money without telling him, which at one point led her to order her favorite perfume via money order and have it sent to my house (she didn’t tell me about it until after it was ordered. In hindsight, I should have sent it back.)

So, back to the cruise thing. For 10 minutes, all dad could do is make excuses as to why she probably wouldn’t be able to go: she may not be able to take vacation during that time; that money would be their fall vacation money, and if she goes they wouldn’t be able to take a vacation together; she will be retiring around that time, and blah blah blah. It went on for 10 minutes.

Keep in mind he recently spent $1000 on a new 46” flat screen HDTV that they didn’t need.

The anger I have been feeling towards my dad rivals the anger I had for him when I was in college and didn’t speak to him for 2+ years. I can’t even describe it. I have been wavering between telling them to forget it and paying for her myself, but decided that their dysfunction is not my responsibility. Let them work it out.

Dad finally caved, and in the email he seemed most worried about us being safe in NYC. Gimme a break, it’s not like we’re going to be walking the streets. NYC is safer now than it has been in decades, in terms of crime rate.

I’m still very angry at him, at her for letting it get to this point, etc. I can’t imagine what her life will be like after she retires, all her time will be managed by him. I know it is a bit of a generational thing, but….I cant’ even put into words what I’m thinking. My blood pressure goes up just thinking about it.