Introspectrus, Part 5

Fall is winding down and although we have a construction project winding up, Fall leading into Winter still is my time to slow down, take stock, decide on changes, refresh and recharge, all that stuff. I think many people feel this way about Winter, it is the time of rest.

One of the things I’m thinking about quite a bit is how the things and people that surround me affect my life and the way I live it and view it. Negativity has been rearing its ugly head again recently, and I’m taking another series of steps to remove it and rethink things.

For example, at work we’re having a ‘situation’ where one of my coworkers is not getting work done as quickly as the contract states it needs to be done. A meeting was scheduled today for The Powers That Be to 'discuss' it. I just got a very acidic phone call from a different coworker asking if the meeting had happened and if the ‘problem’ coworker had been fired yet. She said that she is a strong believer in revenge, and she just wants to see him get what he deserves. End quote.

Wow.

And now I have a headache. Coincidence? Negativity breeds negativity, no? Need to find a way to pull the fangs here, or at least direct them elsewhere.

Negative, bitter people drain me and make me feel negative and bitter. I think we're all like sponges: happy people make me feel good. Negative people make me feel bad. This is not rocket science. To take a phrase from Seinfeld, I’ve decided the negative people are no longer sponge-worthy.

A few people in my life have just stopped where they are and refuse to move forward, and their ‘extra’ time and energy are turning destructive. I’ve decided to not let it destroy me as well. I need to find a way to get rid of it where possible and block it where not possible (like work). That’s going to be the hard part.

Another energy-drain had been television. We camped out in front of the TV and watched shows all evening like Family Guy, 2 1/2 Men, which are funny but usually at the expense of other people….so, more negativity.….until the TV went out (don’t ask). We decided not to sign up for another service. We did sign up for the cheapest Netflix option, and that has been working out beautifully for us. We’ve seen the first two seasons of Night Court and the first 4 of Are You Being Served? and a few great movies.

Then, recently dad told us he wanted to get us a DVD player that runs .avi files, so we could just download entire movies and seasons from the computer and watch them….and he was shocked when I said we weren’t interested. I mean, he was speechless. My father is either in front of the computer or in front of the TV, there is nothing else. OTOH, Matt and I have been doing other things, and talking! My god, talking! Eating dinner at the table! Wow.

One other ‘entertainment’ item to go is probably going to be Facebook. I don’t like it. I don’t really use it. I don’t talk to these people. I haven’t seen most of my HS classmates in 15 years, I don't want to get together with them anytime soon. Where do these people come from? Do any of them remember how mean they were to me then? I don’t share pictures there and I don’t want to. So, mostly negative feelings. I’ve gotten somewhat into a game there recently, but that interest will wane. Why keep it up? Seriously, why? So, probably the end of December will be my last with Facebook. And I actually am looking forward to that.

Finding pastimes that I enjoy is also a goal. Obviously I know several. I garden, but that’s kind of hard in winter. I can start planning next year’s gardens, though. Seed catalogs have already started arriving! I enjoy reading, jewelry making, some crafting. I’m thinking of setting up the sewing machine and getting a few projects to work on.

I’m also going to be working on getting some piles of stuff cleaned up, filed, sorted, put away. Some jewelry projects started and maybe finished, and the jewelry workspace cleaned up. I’ve realized that while I feel comfortable with clutter and piles, the fact that it makes my entire life more cluttered is not a good tradeoff. And it isn’t fair to Matt, either. So, this is another form of negativity that I’m working on.

I also plan on doing some cooking. I love to cook, and when I have time and no one underfoot I like to cook well. I’m thinking dreamily about a cranberry-orange tart, coffee crème brulees, and maybe a few batches of cookies and bourbon balls. I have a huge stack of recipes that I want to try, I’ll probably pull a few and do them, now that I have some time.

I’m also going to take Max a few places to run around, which is grand fun. One Thanksgiving week we took a walk through the trails on the Battlefield and saw a red fox. Another time, we went to campus and I let him run around a field for as long as he wanted. He’s good off-leash, and we can trust him to come back when we call him. This is almost miraculous for a terrier. He will stop chasing a bunny and come back when we call him. Amazing little guy.

So, replacing negative time with positive, negative people with positive, negative thoughts with positive.